March 12.

For some, it’s just the birthday of Al Jarreau and Mitt Romney, which reminds us that even two human polar opposites can have at least one thing in common. But to the rest of the country, March 12 represents an event that is critically important to life and society in the digital age: daylight savings.

Related image

When you “spring forward” in March, as opposed to “falling back” in November (thanks, Mr. Carroll in 5th grade), you get an extra hour of sunlight.

Actually, that’s not even a little bit true. It turns out that agricultural policies from the 19th century can’t actually manipulate the solar system, which makes the concept of “extra” sunlight silly and ridiculous.

But still, after March 12, the days seem to feel a whoooooooole lot longer.

So, what are you going to do with the extra hour of daylight you created with magic like a solar deity wizard?

Well, you could spend your extra hour grilling and smoking your way to slow-cooking perfection on your Big Green Egg, which is a work of wizardly magic in and of itself.

An extra hour of sunlight could also mean 60 more minutes on the deck in the hot tub, soothing away muscle tension, stress, fatigue and stiffness.

It might mean another hour spent doing laps in your Michael Phelps Signature Series swim spa, which is that river in a box you use to get in peak shape without splurging on a giant pool.

For other people, March 12 might symbolize a full extra hour of fun on the shuffleboard, foosball or billiards table.

So, now that you have the power to control the sun, you should have the power to control your itinerary. After March 12, days are longer (no they’re not), there’s extra sunlight (no there isn’t) and spring has officially begun (it begins on March 20).

How are you going to spend your newfound sun time, Ra?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *